Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Bad law, bada bing

1. Having to be strip searched at a US/Canada border crossing for a marijuana seed in the crack of the bench seat of a really old car. Being charged "in concert" for it, though you've just met your room-mate who borrowed the car from his father's Fort Hamilton, Brooklyn Sunoco station, a "station car" a clunker usually used to get parts, and the pills in the other guy's underpants in the car, he takes those to study. Having to spend the night in jail, and buy the car back at "book". 2. Having to produce bonds for having rented a pre-SUV 4 wheel drive from the Canadians in Ottawa who provide for their geological services and signing an affidavit that this is not to take jobs away from Americans. Also being told the lack of pollution devices in Canada are the cause of it, when actually the opposite is true. 3. Being "citizen arrested" for malfunctioning new fire alarm system in a newly "hastily" opened dormitory without the bugs being worked out, or the furniture supplied. Being charged for "criminal tampering" for it usually charged against those that steal power from an electrical utility. 4. Being pulled over for speeding when you got in front of the police car who was pursuing the real speeder, but you think maybe the anthrax has everyone on edge that morning outside West Point Military Academy. 5. There's a few more, like leaving a small upstate New York town at 3 AM in the morning, now with $5 between us, "otherwise it would cost $200 and I'd have to wake the judge up" for failing to yield to an emergency vehicle in the worst fog in 20 years in a 2 seat Volvo. 6. Being served with "Her Majesty's Search Warrant" by two officers who just driven 200 miles, got on a ferry in the highest tides in the world, probably at least had to spend one night on the island, to explain to me they can search anyone and anything with just suspicion, (so said the warrant) have them in and toss the place to find a small chunk of hashish, in a room-mate's pillow, probably from circulation on the island, which they deport him for instead of me! 7. Being the last motorcycle to pull into a parking lot, not really with those other bikers and being given a ticket for "80 mph in a 30 mph zone" when you just passed the sign that said "End 40 mph Speed Limit" and there's no way you could have gotten up to that and back down. Watching the officer stick his nightstick into your tail pipe and saying he should give you a ticket, though having just bought the bike, you know it's used as a police bike in Japan, otherwise you might not have bought it. Arriving twice at the court to see the others plead guilty, and the cop doesn't show up twice after I pleaded innocent. Third time, I can't make it to the court, I innocently think I could call and inform them, and I am arrested at home on George Washington's Birthday for a special "scofflaw session" which I hadn't realized I would have a bench warrant issued for my arrest. I explain my position (cop never shows, end 40 mph, called, etc.) and the judge lets me go after giving me a hard time about all the taxpayer money it costs. 8. Enough about me. Today in 1965, Malcolm X was "assassinated" (said to be where the word "hashish" comes from) or murdered at the Audubon Ballroom, fought over with FOX network once who were going to raze it for TV, recently fixed up, the section of it remains I think I saw in a Sunday NY Times magazine. Having a pretty NYC police officer pose as a "crack whore" and when Mr. Shabazz, takes the $5 bill from her, insisting that she should have a beer or something instead, outside the Patterson project where I once lived, a Grand Jury foreperson for this one in Bronx County, jumping all over him and beating him up and charging him with theft before he had a chance to explain anything. Under the US Constitution you are entitled to a jury trial for amounts of $20 or more. The police woman sued the NYPD for being forced into her "role".

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