Elephant jokes

An elephant and an crocodile are walking along in a swamp when they come upon a turtle. The elephant grabs the turtle with his trunk and heaves him way into the jungle. The alligator asks, "Why did you do that?" The elephant says, "That's the turtle that bit me 50 years ago." The crocodile says, "Wow, you have some memory!" The elephant says, "Yes, I have turtle recall." - heard on Cyberbuddy. This guy is hunting in Africa. And he sees an elephant with a thorn in its foot, lying on the ground. He takes aim. And then he thinks, "hmm... maybe I should save it. It would be cruel to shoot a wounded animal." So he walks slowly over, and pulls out the thorn. The elephant starts to limp away, and then it turns and stares at him, locking eyes for a full minute. It then walks away into the jungle. The guy thinks "wow, I wonder if that elephant will remember me. I wonder if I'll ever see it again." So, twenty years later he's at a circus in the US. And he sees a circus elephant looking at him. It's older, but it's a similar looking elephant. Anyway, so this elephant keeps looking at him, and making eye contact "could this be it?" he thinks. "could this be the same elephant, and does it remember me?" So he sits there looking at the elephant perform, and the elephant keeps giving him these knowing looks. Finally, the circus is over, and he goes down to where the elephant is. The elephant looks deep into his eyes, and he thinks "wow, this could really be the same elephant!" so he walks slowly up to the elephant, looking in its eyes. And the elephant reaches out with its trunk and slowly picks the man up... and then it throws him to the concrete floor and tramples him to death. You see, it turns out it wasn't the same elephant. (from #notmath on efnet) posted at neowin.net A future DJ told me this one (he was once on 3 AM Sunday mornings after "Lesbian Hour" at Buffalo University in New York, Mark Henning from the "rust belt") Teacher: "Can anyone tell me who wrote the "Critique of Pure Reason"? No one answers. "How about you Johnny?" "I can't," says Johnny, "You're right!" says the teacher. (ca. 1974 when demos came on 45's (33 rpm) One labeled "Guess Who?" became... Get it...)